This week, two celebrities committed suicide.

I try to not read the comments under the articles about these tragic losses. More often than not, a lot of judgment and statements about selfishness are thrown around.

I know from personal experience with depression that despair is a terrifying and mind altering experience.

When you are suffering from a mental illness exacerbation – and it is suffering in its deepest, darkest, most soul shattering form – you are not in your right mind. Your vision is clouded, obscured by a lens of wrenching agony.

This is not enjoyable.

Mental illness is also not a choice.

Over and over again there will be cries to remove the stigma of mental illness. This absolutely needs to happen! For the most part, though, it is still taboo, judged, and looked down on…not just by society at large, but also by the medical community. Although illegal and immoral, people are still losing jobs or not hired at all because of these diagnoses, even though it doesn’t affect their daily work performance.

When I talk about my diabetes and the daily struggles I have in the management of it, I get sympathy. I get encouragement. I can educate others about it, and people will listen…after all, diabetes is an illness. Like heart disease. High blood pressure. Etc.

I didn’t choose to be diabetic, and I certainly didn’t choose major depression.

It’s a lot easier to converse about the former than the later. Although diagnosed with major depressive disorder over 20 years ago, I, too, kept quiet for over two decades, for fear of judgment. It is a medical diagnosis, caused by faulty neurochemistry. Not my fault. Not my choice!

When someone commits suicide, I understand on a deep level, though fortunately I have never seriously contemplated it myself. I know of the abyss that I have circled at times, and I can feel the centrifugal pull of it as it drains my hope and will during those bad days. I hear the siren call of it, and it’s a struggle to hold steady.

Through medication, therapy, diet and exercise, prayer and good friends, I have not been sucked into that vortex.

Others are not so fortunate.

A friend and coworker took her life this year. It was devastating for her friends and family. People said what they always say – how could they do that? I didn’t know they were depressed! Why would they do that to their family? They had everything going for them!!

They did it because they were ill. Because they were not in their right mind. Because the darkness had overtaken all rational thought, pushing aside what kept them moving forward. They succumbed to the pain. It is always a tragic loss…not something to look down on and throw stones at.

To those who are suffering today – know you are not alone. You are sick. There are treatments. You can feel better! Talk to your doctor. Get some counseling. Take steps to find a way to treat your disease.

To those who are circling the abyss of despair – call a suicide hotline. 1-800-273-8255. Take yourself to a hospital and tell them you can’t go on. Phone a friend and ask them to take you to the hospital. Save yourself. Then you can work on getting out of the vortex of pain, and walk day by day toward a functional, even rewarding, life. One day at a time.

To the families of people with mental illness – we didn’t choose this. We may need medicine. You wouldn’t deny me my insulin – I would literally die without it. Mental illness is not something we are going to “snap out of”. We may have a smile on our face and be functioning as parents, workers, fellow church going family. We have a diagnosis. Don’t condemn us for it, or limit us

Finally, to those that are judging the depressed, the mentally ill, the suicidal, and judging the ones who have committed suicide – just stop. Please! Pray for these poor souls, and get educated. It’s not helping to be judgmental, and it does even more damage to those around you that are suffering.

May all who have succumbed to the despair Rest In Peace. Pray for their families.

May the rest of us cherish our lives, and do the best to be as healthy as we can – mentally, physically, and spiritually.