I’m frustrated with my diabetes.

I am probably what used to be called “brittle”. I can crash into a low so easily. As I sit here, my insulin pump had been suspended over 30 minutes. My blood sugar is just now coming out of the 60’s. I have eaten dinner and a low carb blueberry cobbler. Yet down down I went.

When my blood sugar is low, I can’t drive. I can’t exercise. I am getting to where I don’t “feel” low until I am in my 50’s. Not good. Thankfully, I have a Dexcom continuous glucose monitor that lets me know when my blood sugars are headed south.

I still can’t DO anything.

I’ve got a pile of books on diabetes. I am in several diabetic support groups.

I carry my pancreas everywhere – my Sugar Medical bag with my insulin, Dexcom and Omnipod PDM’s, and emergency supplies.

Ironically, I carry a bag of candy as well, for unexpected lows when I’m out.

As prepared as I am, I’m frustrated.

I want to go do things – we were planning on going for a walk tonight. I hope to do that still, but it won’t happen unless/until my blood sugars pull up out of the basement.

I came a long way getting healthier – and for that I am grateful.

The new challenge is to find out what works for me – what I can eat, how I can exercise without passing out. How to keep consistently safe numbers.

In the mean time, here I sit with my suspended insulin pump hollering at me.

I WILL figure this out.