I found a picture a few years ago, and although this picture brings me pain at first glance, I held on to it. I intend on keeping it.

There are those that say you should leave the past in the past – and to the extent that you should learn the lessons from it, grow, and move on, I totally agree.

However, I also think the past is important to help you remember how far you’ve come. To remind you to count your blessings.

In my case, I know this is especially true.

The picture was taken during one of the lowest moments in my life. Divorced, dealing with three small children on my own with no child support and a deadbeat dad, overweight, flat broke, working full time, and going to nursing school full time – all of this comes rushing back when I look at the picture.

To add to that, I was driving a piece of crap car that was barely held together, I lived in a complete dive, and I had an acutely ill child.

Good times? Not really.

I learned a lot, though.

I learned that while praying for those in need is important and nice, being Jesus with skin on is infinitely better in desperate times. My BFF Cindy, who herself had been a single mom of three and a nurse, was now in a more stable situation, and she blessed my family more times than I can count. She would come over, do my laundry, read to the kids, take us to dinner. She gave me hand me down clothes for the kids. She laughed with me, cried with me, and was my friend. She was love in action, and beyond wonderful.

I learned that using your talents for the kingdom has great long term value. Jim was a Christian counselor who saw me every month for therapy, for free. He knew I was drowning in my circumstances, and he threw me a rope. I’ll never forget him, or what I learned those hard years.

I found that family is where God’s Body is – we went to a great church, and we had friends that were part of our family of believers. They encouraged me, watched my kids, and stepped in with the boys for fatherly mentorship. I had a great pastor, and I learned a lot about faith. I sustained myself on God’s Word, the Bible. Those hard times strengthened my faith, my habits, and my prayers.

I had more lessons to come after we left this terrible dive of a house – but here is where a foundation was built. One that eventually led me to better decisions, and led me to build into a more stable situation.

Don’t judge a book by its cover. People see me and assume I’ve got it all together, and that life is just a walk in the park.

Life is never easy on this side of heaven – but it is a product of our choices, and our responses to what comes our way that isn’t our choice.

So I’ll slide that picture back in the drawer. Some day, I’ll see it again, and say a prayer of thanks for how far God’s grace has carried me.

Amen