I’m sailing the high seas!

The spouse and I enjoy going on cruises. We get a balcony room, and off we go to some exotic locale we would not otherwise get to see. We average one cruise per year.

We like to turn off the phone for the days we are at sea. Ten years ago, WiFi was so expensive, it wasn’t a realistic option to have a phone on. It made the escape from reality more tangible – no internet, no social media. Now you can cruise with an inexpensive WiFi package, but we choose to keep our phones on airplane mode.

There is much people watching to do, and it’s different every cruise – and port.

The future grumpy old gal has started to squint out from her “back in my day” abode. My first observation- babies on board!

I do not understand why someone would bring a newborn on a cruise ship.

As I carry hand sanitizer on both hips like a germ slinger, I realize a cruise ship is a floating Petri dish. Every time I climb or descend the hundreds of flights of stairs per sailing, I know the glossy rails are covered in remnants of the unwashed.

Seems like a perfect place to bring a vulnerable baby! Sarcasm, of course.

Small cabins with no where to put said baby, and people up all night and day, often inebriated, and the lack of routine, all combine into a disaster for babies and toddlers.

Who cares about the babies when you get a good deal, right?

I know I enjoy the screaming little tikes when I’m trying to enjoy a four course meal in the formal dining room. Who wouldn’t?

Back when I was parent to small children, we didn’t go on cruises. My world was focused on keeping the tiny human in a routine that fostered their growth and comfort.

I also didn’t subject their understandable raucous communication to strangers. Sure I’d like a nice fancy dinner- but I had chosen to have a baby. Baby came first, and my wishes to be entertained and fed in nice places moved to the back burner, and we stayed home. When we ventured out, it was on short jaunts to kid friendly places. When said small humans got tired or out of sorts, as they are genetically want to do, we took them home.

We didn’t inflict them on strangers.

Crazy talk, I know.

Now back to embarkation day!

My second observation is this: give them buffets and they will come. And they will stay.

We boarded in New Orleans, a city famous for an amazing array of delicious food. The passengers from this port came to eat!

While we immediately made our way to our stateroom, unpacking our suitcases and getting our tropical clothing in order, a stampede was happening on the lido deck. When we causally strolled up there shortly after pushing our emptied suitcases under the bed, the whoosh of the sliding door revealed a culinary free-for-all already well underway. Tables packed with cruisers pushing the upper limits of the BMI chart were happily diving into platters laden with every food offering available. A steady stream of folks was going back for seconds- or maybe thirds. We still had over 2 hours until we left port!

Lord help the soul who tries to walk about the lido deck on sailing day! Children ran zig zag, double fisting their ice cream cones as they head for the pool. Grammas and grandpas using help walking, ranging from canes all the way up to motorized scooters,with or without oxygen tanks, perilously wove through the herd, as it were.

If I’d had an appetite, the conspicuous excess I beheld surely worked as a suppressant.

Always present in the background, the workers from all around the world (except notoriously absent Americans, not surprising given the workload).

We strolled up to the top deck, more interested in watching the departure from the shores of the muddy Mississippi, as we began our journey south towards the Gulf of Mexico.

Bon Voyage!