Eleven years ago, I entered the life of a wonderful child.

This child was obviously special from the moment I saw them. I could see that they needed an advocate – as a registered nurse, the subtleties of behavior and reactions that had been written off as “quirks” needed to be addressed so this child could reach their full potential, and thrive.

We took the child to a neuropsychologist, who spent several sessions confirming a diagnosis of autism, and he gave us an envelope with the plan of care for the school.

I was ecstatic – I wanted nothing but the best for this child.

However, another adult in the picture refused to let the neuropsychologist report be taken to the school. Their assessment of the child was polar opposite to our assessment and the teachers assessments, which were all in sync. This person didn’t want the child “labeled”. So despite the fact the school had the ability to help the child with an autistic specific plan, the school never got the data. The child fell by the wayside.

Now the child is an adult. They do not work. They do not drive. They don’t shower or brush their teeth or wear their retainer without much goading, because these things are assumed by the controlling adults, despite the fact that they have always been an issue.

We don’t have control over this wonderful individual. We had discussed with them about going to trade school, getting a job, and they were excited. They loved ritual jobs, and were adept at repetitive tasks.

Then the other adults in their life told them they could go to college, be a broadcaster- despite the fact they barely graduated high school after being held back a year, and they have Tourette’s. Not a recipe for college or broadcasting success.

I’m an advocate. I’m not in denial. I’ve been on the front lines for almost 11 years. I’ll always advocate for this child, now mine. I always will. I’ve loved them just as they are, and have tried to help them reach their potential with the capabilities they have.

But my hands are tied as long as the other adults won’t recognize or accept the child for who they are.