Things change when you’re grown.

They change even more when your kids are grown.

I really miss my three kids and bonus son on the holidays.

My middle child and his pregnant bride have been nearby, and involved in all holiday events. It’s been great – I love my growing family.

I miss my other two. Painfully.

I understand my daughter and bonus son can’t be here – she’s married to a fantastic military spouse, and my bonus son serves in the military, living up north with his family. I support their service, but it makes it hard on my heart when I can’t see them, their spouses, and my grandsons.

I always miss them, but I miss them all the more on holidays.

My oldest child, who I basically grew up with and had a very close relationship with, has not been at my table for many years.

I love him. We talk often…but this is complicated. It’s no less painful every year that he doesn’t join us.

Holidays…so much joy, yet so much pain.