Due to some epic poor decisions I made, my twenties were pretty hard.

I had started college in pursuit of a journalism degree, but had a baby instead.

The next ten years were lessons in hard knocks.

I was blessed with parents who kept me from living under a bridge, but who were not codependent. There were no handouts.

This meant working three jobs at a time, having junker cars with no A/C, and not having furniture in my bedroom so my child could have furniture in theirs.

After a disasterous elopement to a future adulterous spouse, I was left with three kids, and I was broke.

There were no mani-pedi’s for me, no spa days, no salon ‘dos. It was struggle.

When I was 26, I decided I had enough of the struggle. I worked full time, I went to school full time. My supportive parents paid for child care. I lived in a shack and drove a POS Volkswagen.

Once a year, I went out to eat at a nice restaurant. That was it for “treating myself”. No concerts. No parties. Just adulthood.

Through prayer and tenacity and hard work, I got a nursing degree.

At the age of 30, I was a registered nurse. Slowly, my savings built. My parents helped me get a low interest rate on a car and I paid for it.

I got a bed and furniture for myself.

Little by little, things got better. There was no splurging – when I was 38, I went on my first vacation with my family. I took the kids to Disney World – paid in cash, $1k for four days.

I didn’t expect more because I knew that my decisions had led to these consequences. I was determined to make a better life for my children, and I did my best to do so.

A better life didn’t mean handing them everything on a silver platter. All three of my kids know the value of hard work, know what it means to make the most of what you have, and most of all, count your blessings.

I got my first pedicure in my late 30s. I got my eyebrows done for the first time in my 40s.

I see a generation now that has expectations of little girls getting mani pedi’s regularly, and getting their eye brows and hair done at fancy salons.

Meanwhile, for years the boys had their hair clipped at home with the clippers I bought at the big box store. My daughter had her hair trimmed at the discount haircut shop.

We lived within our means, and made the best of what when we had.

Has social media been the flame that lit this ever growing fire of self indulgence? Or was it a generation of parents who wanted to give everything to their kids – and did?

I’ve been married to a great husband for over a decade now. We live comfortably, but continue to spend the same nominal amount on each child for Christmas and birthdays.

We see some struggling, but we don’t do handouts. Our children are establishing families of their own, and, for the most part, working hard to make their way.

Great expectations can kill your dreams, if you expect the world open up before you and give you everything you want.

I raised my kids with the expectation that hard work and service to others leads to a good life. To expect no handouts. The road was theirs for the taking – but they would have to work to get it.

Life will prove me out.