Hold your horses, people.

I remember all that I went through after a painful divorce from a sociopath.

I moved south to be near family. I began counseling to heal whatever drew me to that sick psycho.

The first piece of advice I heard was this – wait at least three years before you start dating.

I didn’t like that advice at the time, but it proved itself out as true wisdom.

For several years now, I’ve been involved with a divorce recovery program.

One of the first lessons – don’t start dating again until you are healed. This takes time…and years. Don’t jump from the frying pan to the fire.

Has your spouse passed away? Wait. Wait before you date.

There no more vulnerable time for someone who has divorced, lost a spouse, or escaped an abusive relationship, than the first year post divorce, leaving, or loss.

Sure, you may be grateful to be free of the chains of stress and dysfunction.

Yes, you may be alone and want company.

Don’t do it.

Hold your horses.

If you’ve been divorced and you have kids, any new relationship will be hard for them. Get yourself healed. Forgive your cheating psycho spouse. Spend time getting strong.

After at least a couple of years, carefully start dating again, if that’s your wish.

Has your spouse passed away? Give your heart time to heal. You can’t see how much you’re hurting when you’re jumping out of the gate to find a date.

You’ll hurt yourself, you’ll hurt your dates, and you’ll hurt your kids.

Hold your horses.

Spend time being grateful for what you have. Healing from what you lost. Loving those who are in your life.

Alone doesn’t have to mean lonely. Find something to do. Get a hobby. Join a club.

Take care of yourself.

In due time, if it’s meant to be, you may find love again.

In the mean time, appreciate the love you’ve got.