I had high hopes for running again in 2020.

But it’s 2020.

In 2011, I was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes.

I was the poster girl for middle aged, mildly overweight, sedentary, and not giving much thought to my health Americans.

Immediately, I determined to walk 5k a day, and eat better. And so I did.

Six years later and I was 30lbs lighter, had run 22 half marathons, and countless other races. I read nutrition labels, And I ate better.

Then 2017 hit. Along with two new diagnoses – asthma, and a correct diagnosis of type 1 diabetes.

Boom.

That combo threw me for a loop.

It’s hard to run when your blood sugar is tanking and you can’t breathe.

I tried to do a modified diabetic diet – I don’t follow ADA recommendations because, frankly, I don’t eat that much, or that many carbs. My goal was less insulin, better health.

I took 18 months off from work to make my health a priority.

And I did.

Covid be damned, I returned to working as an RN this summer.

I had been training slowly and surely to get back up to speed. I began a whole food, plant based, no oil diet with great results to my blood sugars, and much improvement to the inflammatory pain that had plagued me most of my life.

With the advent of constant mask wearing, though, my asthma roared back – the inhalers I was able to stop in April were resumed.

Hurricanes. Burning debris. Worsening breathing. The snowball of declining respiratory function continued.

Today was supposed to be my first real, in person half marathon.

At work yesterday, I tried to talk myself into running it. Even as I struggled to breathe.

I’m frustrated.

I didn’t run. I went down to the starting line to get my swag as the sun came up today, and it broke me a little to see the finish line banner rise up, to watch the cones being set up on the course, and to know I was physically unable to run.

I came home.

Determined.

There’s another half marathon in January. Tomorrow, I am starting a new training plan.

I will not quit.

If I had to narrow myself down to a one word description, it would be this – persistent.

I will not quit. I will not give in. I will always try to be the person I am capable of being. Spiritually, emotionally, physically, relationally.

0515 comes early. I’ll be up eating a healthy vegan breakfast while I do my devotions.

Then I’ll head out the door and start over.

Again.