I have friends. A very small circle, and most of them live in other states, far away from me. If I ever need anything, they are just a phone call away.

I’m alone most of the time, as I’ve written about in a previous blog. Many things factor into this, but one of the reasons is betrayal.

It’s very difficult to think someone cares about you, only to find out they have been stabbing you in the back.

Today on my Time Hop, I reviewed some pictures from several years ago. The pictures show me happy, smiling, enjoying myself. At the time, I was.

Now, as I look at the pictures, it causes me pain. While was participating in those fun adventures with so-called friends, the majority of them would soon be talking about me in official documents, saying horrible things.

The most painful regarded a miscarriage I had just experienced, a very traumatic physical and emotional ordeal.

These women, who should have had sympathy for their alleged friend and fellow female, instead insinuated or outright declared that I had not had a loss – that I was lying about it.

It added insult to deep psychological injury.

Everyone heals in different ways. For me, getting up and moving forward, running as exercise with tears running down my face, was one way I dealt with the pain.

Instead of comfort, I was given skepticism and accusations.

I try to take people at face value. Unfortunately, sometimes that leads to genuine, long lasting pain.

This Time Hop is one that has caused me fresh pain. My smiling face belies the betrayal that was to come.

Two years ago, a similar insult came from a family member. I overheard a phone call that the caller did not know was on speaker. As they cut me to shreds to their family member, I stood in the kitchen, my heart dropping. I thought this person truly cared about me. For several minutes I was hearing things that I couldn’t believe were being said, in a tone of sheer contempt.

While I know now that all the alleged care for me was probably an act, it doesn’t make it feel better to know it.

The truth always comes out, though….and taints all the memories that came before the revelation.