For most of my life, I haven’t had grandparents.

My mothers parents passed away when she was in her 30’s, and her father had Parkinson’s/dementia all the years I knew him.

So I never “knew” him.

My dad’s father was estranged, and I only have a fleeting few memories of him. Always smoking. Had clear blue mints with him all the time – the kind with a dent in the middle. That’s the extent of my memories of him.

I was an Air Force brat, so moving every 1-3 years my entire life until I was 18 didn’t help me establish relationships with them. I would get birthday cards from my paternal grandmother, but like most kids, I was looking for cash, not meaningful exchanges.

My dad’s mother lived to the age of 93 – and she lived with me toward the end of her life for a few months. She had a rapier wit, and a sparkle in her eyes – I loved those months, and wished I had more time with her.

My parents have been a huge part in the lives of their grandchildren. As a single mother for many years, my dad filled in the gap where the absent father should have been. My mother stepped in to make sure my kids got off to school when I came home from a night shift as a young nurse.

Each of my kids has lived for a spell with my parents, cooling their jets for a rebellious period, or to escape the stress at my home.

Now my husband and I have six grandchildren – all boys. The oldest is 8, and the rest are under 3. Only one baby is in our zip code. The rest are in states far away.

My father has been at the birth, or shortly after, of each of his six great grandchildren, and the first birthdays as well.

I think it’s amazing that my children have grown to adulthood with grandparents – especially ones that have been so supportive in every way.

Now I’m trying to be the best Nana I can be. I try to see all of the distant grandsons at least twice a year. I rejoice at FaceTime, where I can talk to and see the boys as they grow. I spend a day a week with the grandson who lives here, while his parents work.

I always felt something was missing when I was growing up, not seeing my grandparents. Not knowing them! I find multigenerational families inspirational, and so important.

When I remarried, my kids got to briefly experience the kind of grandparents I want to emulate. My in-laws had the house on the farm, acres of land to run, fireflies and dogs and family dinners and church together. It was heavenly.

The first loss was the farm, sold when Mom started to get forgetful. She passed away last March…and nothing has been the same.

I want my husband and I to be the safe place for our grandchildren. I want the home in the country that everyone comes and visits – a place big enough for the boys (and hopefully a girl or two one day) to play and explore. I want big family meals with all the families sitting together, breaking bread.

It’s important.

The world is more than a little mad right now. I want my family close to us. I want to impart our love, prayers, and wisdom to the next generation.

It’s new territory for us – but I’m acutely aware of the importance of grandparents.

I can only pray my children see the importance, too.