Paul Reubens, known as Pee Wee Herman, died today.

This news came with a rush of sadness for me.

“Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure” was his big cinematic hit, and it debuted in 1985. I never saw it in theaters.

I was a young mother of one, and by 1988, my first love was dead, and I was a struggling single mom.

A VHS copy of this movie was in my home, and my young son wore that movie out.

Every day, day after day, my toddler son watched this movie over and over, until both of us had most of the dialogue memorized.

He would act out his favorite scenes, with the timing in sync with the screen.

Every time the “Large Marge” scene came on, he would run and hide, terrified of the truck cab scene he knew was coming.

Over the years we would still answer each other with lines from the movie, or with the signature Pee Wee laugh. Even my dad would get involved in the shenanigans. It is woven in our family memories – happy, silly times.

I can see my son standing in front of the TV, acting, laughing, full of joy.

Today is a bittersweet day.

I think I’m going to see if I can find the movie on a streaming service and watch it today.

I know you are, but what am I. Infinity.