My get up and go has…well, you know.

I have really tried to start realigning myself toward my goal of writing full time.

The first step was stepping away from 22 years as a bedside RN.  I loved my job, but it’s not an easy one on the lower back, among other things.

My casual blogging on three other sites has fallen by the wayside, but I am focusing on this blog to spur me on.  Onward – into my first novel!

I have three books published on Kindle, written during my long back induced time off.  That was three years ago.

Procrastination has always been my middle name.  With the burden of being an artist comes a dreamers mind.  Believe me, my mind is going a million directions at once.  I’m trying to get my ADD self together and make my dream of being a published novelist come true.

Now that I have begun to maintain my house more in order, and I minimalized my closet (a huge undertaking, thank you very much), I feel less cluttered, and more creative.  I will continue on my new journey of REAL housewife.  It’s one I longed for since I was a young girl.

So my focus now is loving my family, serving at my church, and writing.  Writing.  Writing!!

It’s time to giddy up on this next great American novel gig!

Lead me not into temptation…I think about that phrase from the 23rd Psalm often as I navigate life as a type 1, insulin dependent diabetic.

I’m making boiled eggs right now for egg salad. Directly next to the pan I am using is a tin of luscious cherry pie. In the freezer is the perfect topping, vanilla ice cream.

It’s been here since last night. The donuts over on the island have been here two days.

Everyone manages their diabetes different, and this is my story – not advice from a doctor. If you want diet advice, see your physician.

If you want help succeeding in loving a healthy lifestyle, don’t bring temptation into the house.

My home is my sanctuary. I want it to be a place of health and peace – peace of mind. Safety.

After I was diagnosed type 1, I was angry. After almost six years of eating healthy and exercising, my faux type 2 diagnosis revealed the more sinister actual diagnosis of type 1. Now I was injecting insulin every day, with every meal, and checking my blood sugars more times than I can count.

I thought I had fended off type 2 – I had in fact delayed full blown type 1. My habits had done me good by giving me a long honeymoon, but the honeymoon is over.

Now I’m in forums with type 1 diabetics who eat whatever they want, whenever they want, and dose accordingly with insulin.

I thought I’d give it a try. I said hello to foods I had nearly forgotten. Pastry, breads, ice cream were eaten at will, and enjoyed vigorously.

I said hello to 20 of the 30lbs of weight I had lost.

I said hello to bigger insulin boluses, and the roller coaster of high and low blood sugars.

It was not for me.

I have gone back on my low carb diet – modified for safety in my case. The weight is falling off. My blood sugars are great. Smaller carb numbers in my meals lead to smaller corrections, and tighter control of my blood sugars.

Dealing with temptation is a daily event. Anywhere I buy food, there is more unhealthy food than healthy food. I know what to do, after six years of making better choices.

I don’t want to undermine myself by buying food that will undermine my health – but it happens. Holiday meals are filled with foods I can’t indulge in. The times I only have time to grab a bite of fast food takes concentration on food labels and nutritional information.

Nothing is new.

What is new is I look past the cherry pie, and make my egg salad. I discard the stale donuts as I eat fruit and peanut butter before I go on my daily run. I drink another 32oz of water before I have a solitary diet soda.

It’s all about choices.

These are mine.

I choose daily good habits for long term health.

Eight years ago, I was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes. I actually had type 1, but that’s a different story…

When I was diagnosed, I lived a carb heavy, sedentary life. I decided that the diagnosis was not one I wanted to accept willingly, so I began to change my habits.

Probably seven years ago, I bought my first Fitbit. I also joined a private online group of women who motivated each other to better health, through Fitbit challenges, etc.

I began by walking 5k a day – 3.12 miles a day. Walking. Not speed walking, just walking around the neighborhood.

I started parking my car further away from stores. I took the stairs wherever I could find them.

About five years ago I worked my way up to doing races, and to date, I have done 21 half marathons, and countless 10k and 5k’s.

I lost 30lbs in the process, and am much more mindful of my health.

The Fitbit really motivates me! I have minimim daily steps goals set for myself. The Fitbit keeps me accountable.

Today, they sent me this badge:

I’m ecstatic. Every single one of those steps led me to the healthier person I am today. I’m grateful for my little Fitbit. It’s made a difference in my health!!

It bought me a six year “honeymoon” – six years of not needing insulin.

Last year the honeymoon was over, and my type 1 diabetes was finally diagnosed.

I’m grateful for the good habits I have built over the last seven years. It helps me be healthier every single day as I live with this disease!

It’s my birthday – the first thing I did was feed my pets. I’m grateful for the dogs and cat I have, and they really have enriched my life. I am especially grateful for Mitzi- my first dog, the pup that turned me into a dog person. She takes good care of me.

The second thing I did was go outside…and the sun is out! I have been lamenting the fact we have not seen the sun in weeks. I’m so grateful for a sunny day!!

The azaleas are blooming out front – I stopped and looked at them for a few minutes. Their vivid pink amazes me – it seems too bright to be a natural color. I’m grateful for the abundance of beauty all around me.

I got on my rebounder to exercise – I am acutely aware of how blessed I am to be alive and well. I am grateful for the ability to take care of this body that has been given to me. I have lost many friends over the years – friends that I loved, who never got to celebrate this particular birthday. Today I am grateful for the time I got to spend with them. I miss them.

I’m going to church this morning – I’m teaching Sunday school, and I’m grateful for the opportunity to share what God has done in my life. Then I’m going to sing in choir, and I am blessed beyond measure to be able to worship God freely.

I have heard from many friends and family already, greeting me and wishing me well. I’m thankful for children and my grandchildren- I’m blessed to be the mother of four, a stepmom, and a Nana of five (and one more due in September). My cup overflows.

After church, I’m going to a wedding for a dear friend. I love going to weddings, especially now that I am married to my beloved husband. I don’t take him for granted – he was my third chance at happiness, and he is a wonderful spouse, friend, and father. Today as I listen to my friend recite her vows, I know I’ll be reflecting on the 12 years I’ve been with my husband.

It’s my birthday – a day of reflection for me. New Years never brought resolutions for me. My birthday has always been a day for me to reflect on where I’ve been, where I am, and where I’d like to be.

It’s a day to realize how blessed I am. There are so many things I have overcome, and I am acutely aware of them. I remember the hard times. The hard years! I am grateful that I walked through. I hope I keep my perspective.

Of course, I have to thank my parents – without them, none of this would be possible!!

When I was a child, I learned early on when spring was coming. It wasn’t in the soft, warm winds that would begin to blow gently, cutting through the chill, or in the lengthening of days. It was when I was in the car with my dad, and he’d suddenly exclaim “Redbud!”

I have to admit, this made no sense when I was a very small child. He would be gesturing out the window, and I would neither see anything “red” nor “bud”. Just the blur of bare trees and evergreens lining the road.

Eventually I figured out what he was pointing at – a blur of delicate purplish pink blossoms, standing out in stark contrast to the bare grey or dark green trees around it. Sometimes the tree was barely a wisp, but on a grey day, it meant spring was coming.

As I got older, into my middle school years, it became a challenge to see who saw the redbud first. I would be scouring the scenery, looking for any sign of the pale frothy flowers in bloom. Of course now I had the advantage, because I knew what I was looking for, and Daddy was concentrated on driving. But it was a win for both of us when the first redbud was spotted, and it never ceased to lift our spirits.

In the Southeast, following in bloom after the redbud, are the delicate white or pink dogwood trees. Driving down two lane roads with redbud and dogwoods blooming, it would strike one speechless.

It’s been a long, grey, and dismal winter here in the Southeast. I can’t remember a winter where the sun rarely made an appearance for months. We are accustomed to mild sunny days, and a few cold, sunny weeks.

Today, as I was leaving my neighborhood, a flash of colorful petals caught my eye. I pulled my car to a stop, and snapped a picture. Redbud!

I just sent that picture to daddy. His response?

“It’s Spring!!”

Three years ago, I ran a 10k. Then I got up the next day and ran a half marathon.

My newsfeed shows me pictures from the WDW Glass Slipper Challenge.

Little did I know I had l LADA (latent autoimmune diabetes of adulthood), and within 18 months of that event, I would be on insulin for the rest of my life.

You can get insulin dependent diabetes anytime. It used to be called juvenile diabetes – and to this day, most people I meet assume I am a type 2 diabetic because I was diagnosed type 2 eight years ago.

That erroneous diagnosis got me eating healthy, and turned me into a runner. Yes, the girl who hated gym in high school, and who hated to exercise, became a half marathoner – and on this weekend three years ago, ran 19.3 miles in two days.

The whole time, my immune system was attacking my pancreas. I bought myself extra time with the healthy choices I made, but eventually my pancreas was overwhelmed.

I’m grateful beyond words that that for over 4 decades diabetes was not in my vocabulary. I have not had to live the bulk of my life with this disease.

There is still a part of me in mourning, however. I see the photo of me with no insulin pump or CGM (continuous glucose monitor) on me, and I remember when I could exercise with no worries of having my sugar bottom out.

I could eat without calculating carbs and ratios beforehand on my medical devices.

The stubborn resistance to the false type 2 diagnosis got me off the couch.

The reality of being type 1 will prompt me onward, and I will find a way to run half marathons again.

I know I’m capable.

I’ve proven it over and over.

One benefit of living in Florida is the resident rates we get on the major amusement parks in the state.

For many years, we would go to Disney World once or twice a year. We stayed on campus, packaging our hotel, food, and tickets. We saved and paid cash for our four days in the park.

Slowly, steadily, the prices began a sharp upswing. Hotel rates doubled or tripled, park ticket passes doubled.

Downtown Disney, which was a fun area of Disney based shopping, along with great food options, became transformed into Disney Springs. High end shopping has taken over – stores we never step into, due to out of reach pricing, line the sidewalks as you enter. It became a chore to find our favorite Disney stores.

We loved going to Disney World, and we had our favorite rides. Due to frequent overcrowding, Disney restructured their “fast pass” system, to allow one to pick three rides to ride per day.

It made things infinitely worse. Not only could we not ride our favorite rides – the “choices” given would only include one or two favorites – the lines for the popular rides were hours long.

Not surprisingly, the famous great service by cast members began to suffer. When we first started going to WDW 15 years ago, it was a true escape, a happy place, full of fun and relaxation.

Now, it’s expenses from parking to food to accommodations has made it unreachable to average folks. We live a comfortable life – we refuse to put ourselves in debt for a few days of walking around, packed like lemmings, missing our favorite rides, paying to park on campus,and spending more time standing in line in the heat.

I know this post will not sway the Disney junkies. I used to be one – but I refuse to spend the ridiculous prices.

I also know for average families, a trip to WDW has gone beyond something to save for, and they are going deep into debt to have a Disney vacation.

We used to joke that Disney is aiming at the rich for customers.

It’s not a joke anymore.

Based on what we’ve seen, soon the uber wealthy will be the only ones able to enjoy the parks.

We have a lot of great memories.

We miss Walt Disney – the man.

His dream for Disney World is a thing of the past.

I recently taught a class on dealing with stress. In the spirit of practice what you preach, I am working on healing myself.

Until I was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes 18 months ago, I was running half marathons. I had gone from completely sedentary to healthy eating, and training to run races.

Since my diagnosis, my blood sugar has been tanking when I run. I am trying a lot of options to make it work. It’s frustrating.

I knew one thing – I can run a 5k. So I set the goal of running 5k races.

Today I ran a 5k. On the sand, no less! I got it done, with stable blood sugar. It wasn’t my best time, but I finished. I had fun. Those are my two goals for any race!

I want to run half marathons, and I am hopeful I figure out this blood sugar thing.

In the mean time, I have an 8k trail Run next weekend.

One small, measurable goal at a time.

I’ll get there.

Six years ago, I was in New Orleans for the Color Run.

I went with a group of coworkers and friends, and some spouses attended, including mine.

The run was fun, joyous, and a great celebration of fun and friendship.

New Orleans was awesome as always – great food, great times, great people.

It was a good memory to file away.

Or so I thought.

On April 3 of that year, I had a miscarriage. My only lost child – and it was devastating. It was an unexpected blessing, followed too soon by a crushing loss.

The weekend after I lost the baby on Tuesday through Wednesday, I had a 10k scheduled to run. I debated on whether or not to do it.

It became of symbol of life for me – a way to work through the pain. I cried as I ran, but it was cathartic. I ran past the site my miscarriage had started to make itself known – and I cried some more. It was a healing run.

Coming back to work, there was no sympathy from the women’s health staff I worked with. Just one dear friend acknowledged my loss with a heartfelt card – I still cherish her, and her thoughtfulness.

In a show of how horribly catty women can be, there were so called “friends” who had gone with me to New Orleans that conspired with a boss who was out to get me. They doubted my loss – not only not offering comfort, but accusing me of using it to get off work.

Their twisted line of thought was if I could run a 10k so soon, I couldn’t have been pregnant.

I had to defend myself when I was at a weak emotional place – defend my loss to women who worked with women, who took care of them after their pregnancy losses.

Everyone grieves differently. Even though I had helped countless women through pregnancy loss over the years, I had never questioned them. I comforted them. I pointed them to help. I listened. I cried with them.

As this years memories came floating across my timeline, pictures of that weekend in New Orleans came up.

No joy was found – only bitterness.

I cut ties with the so called friends who had come after me when I was most vulnerable – I saw, in writing, what they had said about me. I had it cleared from my record at work as I had to prove I had lost my pregnancy.

After an extended period of persecution from that boss, she was removed, and I was totally cleared of all the accusations. I knew I would be, and I learned a lot in that season.

I see now I have more forgiving to do. What I had packed away was torn open today.

Maybe I’ll go on a run. It helped me six years ago. This time, the run will be for forgiveness.

It’s true what they say – grandchildren are the best!

In the space of 19 months, we have gone from one grandson, to five grandsons. Two infants and two toddlers have joined the family!

It has really made me reflect on the lives of our kids.

Today, dozens of friends have posted about the daddy daughter dances at their churches. It’s heart warming. I hope against hope that the prodigal daughters will remember where they were on those many nights over the years. No matter how far they’ve strayed from those years of youthful innocence, they can still come back. They can turn their lives around.

I spoke to my toddlers on FaceTime today – they know who I am, we have our rituals. It’s another generation of my heart waking around outside my chest. I want nothing but health and happiness for them.

The infants are precious – so new and amazing, taking in this great big world. I want them safe and secure and loved. I know they are – I want them to always know they’re loved.

Oh, the moments I missed out on as a single, working mom. I did my best – but I still missed a lot. We were poor, but we had love, and we told each other we loved one another every single day.

Looking back, I see what I’ve missed, now that new babies have come into our family.

For all our kids, I want them to walk uprightly, live humbly, and be good people. We will never give up wanting the best for them – but they must find their own way into adulthood, and learn to stand in their own. We love them all, and will cheer them on to success.

For the grandkids that are here, and those that are to come, we want to be a part of their lives, loving them so they also know they are always loved. Our hearts expand as the family does.

Don’t miss the little moments, dear loved ones. Appreciate the miracle of birth. The wonder of learning. The security of Love. The beauty of life!

We will be here for you all, in whatever way we can – for the adults, lending an ear or advice, or making time to hang out.

For the next generation, we are here to see that you have what you need – and we are ready to shower you with love and gifts. It’s the privilege of being grandparents.

For the generation that raised us – let the years draw us closer, as the little things that separated us fall away.

Time is precious.

Tomorrow is not guaranteed.

Love is the answer.

Of this, I am very certain.