Oh, Florida, your greed is showing.

The first story that caught my eye is from Walton county, in the panhandle of Florida.

It seems somehow, someway, legislation was passed that muddied the crystal clear waters of the Gulf of Mexico. Since said legislation passed, greedy wealthy property owners, under the delusion that they own the BEACH, have put fences of markers down to just above the water line, and call the police to enforce it. Seriously!? For years they have made it difficult to get to beach accesses – now, this has gone too far.

Up next, vacation destination, Destin, Florida. More overcrowded and overdeveloped by the day, the monstrous Emerald Grande started charging for parking. $10. The hotel that was built on a spit of land that was never to be developed, but was because the right pockets were lined with cash, now is charging for parking. When it shouldn’t even exist. Wall to wall traffic, condos stacked on condos, and now paying to park just to shop. Bravo, greedy tourism barons!

Next up, downtown Pensacola, Florida – also in the panhandle. Some genius decided to make every possible parking lot and street space a pay for park scenario. Every. Single. One. We came downtown to watch a movie at the classic Saengar Theater, and spent a long time circling, looking for a free spot, even as the lots were empty. We noticed dozens of cars doing the same thing. Ironically, they are revitalizing downtown. Too bad no one can come here without shelling out to park. The businesses have to be suffering. Smooth move, brainiacs.

Pensacola Beach is considering charging to park at the one major parking lot – the one with access to both the beach, and the boardwalk. The premise is they will remove the $1 toll plazas to get on the island. Riiiight. Let me look into my crystal ball – I see toll booths, and a pay to park lot.

November is coming – find out who stands for the people. Vote for someone who gives a crap – because obviously they aren’t currently in office.

I don’t know what has happened, or when exactly it began, but for some reason, everyone is screaming.

I expect it to be loud at sports bars. Or kids venues. That makes sense.

Anywhere we go, though, it is loud. Loud. LOUD!!

The last two times we went out to high end restaurants, with nothing but subtle background music, we couldn’t hear each other speak. What was supposed to be a romantic dinner turned into straining to hear each other, while the other tables made our eardrums bleed with their loud chatter.

My nerd husband actually measured how loud it was at a recent venue, and it was over 100 decibels. Legitimately ear damaging loud.

Everyone is screaming to over-talk the nearby tables. Instead of bringing it down, the volume goes up. And up.

I think cell phones are partly to blame – everyone raises their voices and speaks louder when holding a phone. I think people are so used to shouting into a cellular device, they transfer their outside voice to every conversation, everywhere.

We even went to an outdoor concert that was so loud with the cacophony of college age concert goers, we couldn’t hear the artist on stage! We left, lest we spend two hours listening to the banal and oversharing stories of promiscuous and alcohol driven behavior.

This incessant auditory overload is keeping us at home. We go out less. We spend more time in the peace and quiet of our home.

It’s a shame.

I don’t know how to reverse this self centered shouting match communication trend. The loudest one does not win.

Common courtesy would be nice, but I fear it is long gone, along with our inside voices.

I just don’t understand people that don’t want to travel.

I personally know people that have never left their county. Most of the people I know haven’t left their state, or at the most, their region.

I don’t understand! Help me!

This world we live on has so many amazing things to see, so many places to go, so many things to do. Why wouldn’t you want to?

I’ll address the number one reason people say they don’t travel – money. The argument is that it just costs too much.

Travel can be expensive…but it doesn’t have to be.

Every state has multitudes of national parks and campgrounds. If you can’t afford even a tent, take enough food and water for a few hours, and explore the parks nearby where you live.

If you have time and money to go somewhere overnight, explore what is within driving distance – I think you’ll be surprised by what you can find.

I loved being an Air Force Brat. It taught me about the big, wide world out there. Travel is great – moving, not so much. So I take advantage of any opportunity to travel.

If you don’t have a lot of money but have a destination you want to go to, then plan and save for it. Mark it on your calendar, and start putting away what you can toward a trip. It may take you a year or more to get there, but it will be worth it. Use the Internet, talk to friends that travel – definitely do your research, so you have the best trip possible.

One of our favorite modes of traveling is on a cruise ship. Sailing from a port less than 6 hours from where we live, we have explored the Mayan ruins in Tulum, we have swam in The Caribbean, we have wandered in Aruba and Curaçao. We have snorkeled in Roatan, and cruised down a jungle river in Belize. Great, affordable trips can be found on cruise lines – again, do your research!

Last year we went to see my bonus son and daughter in love in Germany, where he was stationed. On the way, it gave us a chance to see Paris. I loved it! While I waited for my husband to join me from London where he was working, I explored the city. Leaving our charming boutique hotel, I walked to the Eiffel Tower. I walked along the Seine, people watching and buying local art. Of course we went to the Louvre, but also other museums, and toured the magnificent Notre Dame, and walked from there down the Champs-Elysees. We packed so much fun into the two days we were in Paris.

Onward to Germany, where we explored the Black Forest, and drove on to Switzerland. Even in winter, the magnitude of the beauty of the Alps cannot be explained. It was a life enriching experience – many new places, foods, and historical sites were enjoyed to the fullest.

It was my second trip to Europe- the first was a few years ago, when my husband was working there. On a whirlwind of planned adventures, we explored London, Bath, Stonehenge, Salisbury, and Cardiff, Wales. It was so exciting, meeting new people, and exploring other cultures.

We have trips planned this year, both near and far. Some are back to favorite places, like New Orleans, and some involve new adventures, like Progresso, Mexico.

I encourage you to step outside of your comfort zone, and broaden your horizons. No matter what your budget is, there is some place you can go that is new to you. Explore it. Seize the day!

*and London, Bath, Salisbury, Cardiff, Triberg, Frankfurt, Interlaken, Grindelwald

**and St Maarten, St Martin, Cozumel, Grand Cayman, Belize, Roatan, Jamaica, St John, Grand Turk, Dominican Republic, Puerto Rico, Aruba, Curaçao

***and multitudes of parks, mountains, and seashores in the United States

I found a picture a few years ago, and although this picture brings me pain at first glance, I held on to it. I intend on keeping it.

There are those that say you should leave the past in the past – and to the extent that you should learn the lessons from it, grow, and move on, I totally agree.

However, I also think the past is important to help you remember how far you’ve come. To remind you to count your blessings.

In my case, I know this is especially true.

The picture was taken during one of the lowest moments in my life. Divorced, dealing with three small children on my own with no child support and a deadbeat dad, overweight, flat broke, working full time, and going to nursing school full time – all of this comes rushing back when I look at the picture.

To add to that, I was driving a piece of crap car that was barely held together, I lived in a complete dive, and I had an acutely ill child.

Good times? Not really.

I learned a lot, though.

I learned that while praying for those in need is important and nice, being Jesus with skin on is infinitely better in desperate times. My BFF Cindy, who herself had been a single mom of three and a nurse, was now in a more stable situation, and she blessed my family more times than I can count. She would come over, do my laundry, read to the kids, take us to dinner. She gave me hand me down clothes for the kids. She laughed with me, cried with me, and was my friend. She was love in action, and beyond wonderful.

I learned that using your talents for the kingdom has great long term value. Jim was a Christian counselor who saw me every month for therapy, for free. He knew I was drowning in my circumstances, and he threw me a rope. I’ll never forget him, or what I learned those hard years.

I found that family is where God’s Body is – we went to a great church, and we had friends that were part of our family of believers. They encouraged me, watched my kids, and stepped in with the boys for fatherly mentorship. I had a great pastor, and I learned a lot about faith. I sustained myself on God’s Word, the Bible. Those hard times strengthened my faith, my habits, and my prayers.

I had more lessons to come after we left this terrible dive of a house – but here is where a foundation was built. One that eventually led me to better decisions, and led me to build into a more stable situation.

Don’t judge a book by its cover. People see me and assume I’ve got it all together, and that life is just a walk in the park.

Life is never easy on this side of heaven – but it is a product of our choices, and our responses to what comes our way that isn’t our choice.

So I’ll slide that picture back in the drawer. Some day, I’ll see it again, and say a prayer of thanks for how far God’s grace has carried me.

Amen

As I’m getting older, that remarkable thing is happening where you appreciate your family more each day.

I’ve been off and on the fence at times – usually associated with rebellious phases in earlier decades.

I also am irrationally irritated I live in a state I hate, but so does most of my family now.

I have reached the magical grandparent age, and it changes you. I turn into a pile of goo whenever my kids or grandkids are around. I am astonished how fast my stoicism dissolves when I think about them.

Don’t get me wrong – I have always loved my kids, and have gone out of my way to let them know it, from infancy on. We are a family that hugs and says I love you, and it’s intentional.

Today I spent the day with my bonus son, daughter in love, and grandson. It is all I can do not to weep as I type this.

You see, this bonus son has been a close part of my life since he was six years old – first via his relationship with my parents, his grandparents, and then closer still, as an additional kid hanging out most days at my house. He is my biological nephew, but he was another sibling with my three kids from early on in their lives.

I’ve loved him like a son since he was a small boy. I’m so proud of the man he’s become, and I adore his wife and child. Even more awesome- they are expecting another child early next year! Pass the Kleenex, please.

Spending time with him today as he is on leave to see us here, I see how much he has grown. He is an amazing father and husband. He, too, makes a deliberate effort to let those who love him know that they are loved.

Watching his son, I am reminded of the vastly different life his dad had. But his son knows nothing but love, fun, adventure, and stability.

It’s a wonderful picture of the redemptive power of love.

I look forward to every day I can love on this bonus part of my immediate family.

They enrich my life more than words can express.

I’m frustrated with my diabetes.

I am probably what used to be called “brittle”. I can crash into a low so easily. As I sit here, my insulin pump had been suspended over 30 minutes. My blood sugar is just now coming out of the 60’s. I have eaten dinner and a low carb blueberry cobbler. Yet down down I went.

When my blood sugar is low, I can’t drive. I can’t exercise. I am getting to where I don’t “feel” low until I am in my 50’s. Not good. Thankfully, I have a Dexcom continuous glucose monitor that lets me know when my blood sugars are headed south.

I still can’t DO anything.

I’ve got a pile of books on diabetes. I am in several diabetic support groups.

I carry my pancreas everywhere – my Sugar Medical bag with my insulin, Dexcom and Omnipod PDM’s, and emergency supplies.

Ironically, I carry a bag of candy as well, for unexpected lows when I’m out.

As prepared as I am, I’m frustrated.

I want to go do things – we were planning on going for a walk tonight. I hope to do that still, but it won’t happen unless/until my blood sugars pull up out of the basement.

I came a long way getting healthier – and for that I am grateful.

The new challenge is to find out what works for me – what I can eat, how I can exercise without passing out. How to keep consistently safe numbers.

In the mean time, here I sit with my suspended insulin pump hollering at me.

I WILL figure this out.

I really hate diabetes.

I’ve been insulin dependent for almost a year. Most days I manage it. Other days, it manages me.

I had a wonderful dinner last night with my spouse, protein heavy, and carb intake reasonable. My blood sugar was low before dinner, and I bolused the appropriate amount of insulin for dinner. I came home, and my blood sugar was fine.

Then it took a dive. I corrected with a handful of cherries and a little chocolate. I wanted to go to bed, but it was time to change my insulin pump, so I did.

My blood sugar started going up to what looked to be a normal range, in the 120’s, so I went to sleep.

Not for long.

My blood sugar started to climb. And climb. My Dexcom continuous glucose monitor was alarming every five minutes, alerting me of my high blood sugar. I left my bedroom, not wanting to disturb my spouse with the alarms.

Frustrated, I started pounding down Gatorade Zero. I kept correcting my blood sugar with insulin. My blood sugar kept climbing.

Once it got to 300, I said uncle, and pulled out my newly placed pump. Although there was no indication it wasn’t working, I was hoping that the pump was the problem.

It was.

My blood sugar is below 300 and steadily dropping. It’s 0318 and I’m still drinking Gatorade Zero. I won’t be able to rest until my blood sugar stabilizes.

It will probably be daylight before that happens.

To think, just over a year ago, I was a misdiagnosed type 2 diabetic, with minimal pancreatic function. But it had function. I could eat, exercise, sleep, and live without diabetes being constantly in the forefront of my mind.

Those days are long gone.

While I am grateful for the technology that helps me manage my type 1 diabetes, this disease sucks.

It really sucks.

Everyday, as I watch TV commercials, television shows, scroll through social media, or even listen to the radio, I hear the same thing. Male bashing – and lots of it.

I understand that there is humor in most things, and humor is important. What has happened for several years, however, is more insidious – it is the purposeful attack on men and maleness.

As a wife and a daughter, my job is to lift up the men in my life. Say what?!

Let me qualify this – if you are in an abusive relationship, then get out. If you are struggling in your marriage, get therapy. Do not air your dirty laundry – this is a lesson I have learned the very hard way when I was younger.

For the rest of us, count your blessings, and expound upon them.

My husband doesn’t leave the toilet seat up. He puts his clothes in the laundry basket. He’s not the sixth kid in the house.

My husband is my partner, and I am his help-meet. He cooks. He cleans. He does his own yard work. He changes the oil. If it’s broke, he fixes it.

He doesn’t come in and sit in the recliner and watch tv, while drinking beer and ignoring me.

All these stereotypes are perpetuated every day, and it isn’t doing anyone any good.

We’ve gotten to the point where radicals are claiming testosterone is “toxic”.

Nonsense.

There are two parts of this marriage, masculine and feminine, and we are both important.

My husband can lift heavy things that I can’t, and I’m not threatened by this. He’s my protector, he is chivalrous- he opens doors for me, and I’m okay with this. He honors me, and I know this is a blessing.

Being a weaker vessel, as the Bible refers to women, is not a slight to me. I don’t need to be him. I don’t want him to be me. We each bring important, different qualities to our relationship.

One is not more important than the other.

I do not want us made into an amalgamation – though we are one as a couple, we are two individuals.

Lift up your spouse. Honor their strengths. Don’t chip away at them. Appreciate what you have, instead of highlighting the minutia.

I am married to a strong, masculine man.

I couldn’t be happier.

One of the most surprising things I have found since I stopped working full time and started being a wife, mother, nana, and writer full time is my new level of contentment.

If I had to describe my previous state of mind, I would say anxious. Uneasy. Always trying to think. Plan. Get through the day.

Now, I have daily goals – but no one is going to live or die based on my actions (or inactions). I am sleeping much better, now that I am not waking up before my alarm most days.

I am at peace.

It’s been a long time since I have consistently felt this way, and I am savoring it. I am appreciating it. I am beyond grateful!

It was unexpected. I’ve lived so long in a state of high anxiety, I just assumed that was my life. Instead, it was my living.

I feel my mind clearing. I feel my shoulders relaxing, and I am breathing easier.

This decision is already proving to be the best thing for my health!

I’ve begun the journey of decluttering.

After working full time (and more) for the past 20 years, I have accumulated a lot of stuff. Clothes. Decor. Junk.

Early in my life, we moved every 1-3 years. The upside of this for decluttering is you are forced to look at every item, and decide if it is worth continuing with you on your journey.

Over a decade ago, the journeying stopped. The work continued, along with a family of five kids and two adults.

Here we are, now – empty nesters. Now I am taking time to heal my body. I took a good, long look around me.

Immediately, I could see that in order to get the clarity I needed mentally, I needed to clear out the clutter.

A lot of things have happy memories. My therapist said to me – kiss them goodbye. For some strange reason, that helps to let go.

I feel better already.

Now back to the closet to finish the purge.