I’ve learned a lot in the last 3 months.

Three months ago, I had a traumatic injury to my right knee. It dropped me to the ground, sobbing, and I knew something was torn.

I did what a lot of people and stubborn nurses do. I elevated it, put ice on it, and just figured it would get better.

It didn’t.

The daily pain was the worst for the first six weeks. A completely avulsed meniscus and a bone bruise are very painful.

I suffered through sleepless nights and very painful days.

Then I went to the orthopedist.

She told me about the injuries listed above. The meniscus will not come back. I was not shocked. I was mentally ready for that.

What came next, I was NOT ready for.

My interior knee is now bone on bone.

Stage 4 arthritis. End stage arthritis.

No cure. Some palliative options. Partial knee replacement needed soon.

This sent me into a flood of tears. I had gone from fully to mobile to…now I wear a medial unloader brace to be able to walk. That was a trade up from a cane.

I can’t walk distances. I did weeks of PT and learned the quad loading exercises I need to do to keep my legs strong.

The expert at the local sports med Mecca told me that running and even walking any distance are things of the past.

I can’t wrap my head around that.

It’s a reality I live with daily, though.

I’m slow but steady. I have a brace on my leg that covers 2/3 of it. Despite this obvious walking aid, I’m amazed at people who cut me off or race ahead of me to get in line when I’m at the store. I guess they see the advantage and go for it.

I’m tall – 70”. Most toilets hit me below the knee. Getting up and down is a painful and difficult process. At home, I have a booster seat (I wish I was kidding) made for the commode, so I can sit down and get up without an issue.

In public restrooms, only the handicapped bathroom will suffice. The commode is taller, and there are rails to hold onto.

Being able bodied, I never considered the handicapped stall for people who can’t get up and down easily. In the past, if I was in the restroom and it was the only stall open, I would use it if it was urgent.

I have seen the error of my ways.

Every step is a struggle now. Every time I get up or down of a chair, or in and out of a vehicle, I have to plan, position, brace, boost…whatever it takes.

The aromatase inhibitors I have to take for five years exacerbate things. All my joints are achey, and the ones that hurt, hurt more.

I’m hoping this is just a season with limited mobility, but time with tell.

In the mean time, my husband continues to help me out of the car, pulls right up to the front door, and helps me however he can.

I’ll keep doing the PT exercises, try to increase my time on the stationary bike (the only permitted exercise, now that I can’t run, walk, or hike).

This, too, hopefully will pass.

In the mean time, I’m a lot more sympathetic to those who are mobility impaired and who can’t find parking spaces because of selfish people who don’t need to use those handicapped spots.